Celeste and Blathers!
“We met at summer camp.”
You are allowed to drink when you’re 16.
You are allowed in clubs when you’re 18.
You receive free education.
You receive economic support while studying.
You enjoy free hospitalization.
You’ll be correctly informed by objective news channels.
“Yes, yes,” said the Beast, “my heart is good, but still I am a monster.”
“Among mankind,” says Beauty, “there are many that deserve that name more than you, and I prefer you, just as you are, to those, who, under a human form, hide a treacherous, corrupt, and ungrateful heart.”
YEAH, SHE’S GOOD LOOKING, I GUESS. NOT REALLY MY TYPE. I LIKE A BIGGER WINGSPAN.
THERE WE GO. PAGE 236. LOOK AT THE PLUMAGE ON THAT ONE. SWEET JESUS.
Milla Jovovich and Zachary Quinto at the Cointreau & Nikki Beach Present Dita Von Teese during the 2013 Cannes Film Festival, Nikki Beach Le Club at Les Marches, Cannes, southern France, Monday May 20, 2013.
HELP STOP I CANT AAAHHHH
I’d appreciate a heads up before a complete stranger enveloped me in an embrace, but I typically don’t mind. These situations usually play out something like this:
(In public; lock eyes with random person. Random person does not look away.)
Me: (in my head) they know.
Me: (paranoid) do they know? or do I just have something weird on my face?
person: (keeps staring)
me: omg they know everything about me I bet they’re from PETA they’re going to throw pigs blood on me and wish a plague upon my house
person: (pause) … ARE YOU EMILY FROM THE BRAIN SCOOP?!
me: ohthankgod. Yes. Hello. I’m Emily.
Hugs, chats, signing of paper product/arms/clothing commences, pictures are taken, my heart swells with joy and appreciation, and we go on our merry ways.